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06/06/2011 / Kaitlin Zhang

5 Habits of the Perfect Wife

Marriage is a journey, nobody lives happily ever after unless they work on it.  Is it shocking to hear that marriage requires working?  A lot of people do complain that their spouse should work on the marriage because they feel like they deserve to be treated well especially after they have committed their entire lives to their marriages.

But the problem is that: The definition for “being treated well” is different for men and women. Our needs are very different.  You must understand each other’s needs to make the other person feel loved and fulfilled.

Good news! If you don’t know where to start to work on your marriage…. If you just don’t know what your husband needs…. Then here is a place where I will explain the 5 most basic needs of most men and the 5 habits that go along these needs.*

This is a continuation of the post 5 Habits of the Perfect Husband.

5 Basic Needs and the 5 Habits:

1. Sexual fulfillment

She needs to satisfy one of his most basic needs, or someone else might.

Habit: She meets his needs.  She needs to learn to communicate openly about this issue. They both always need to learn and improve, in order to make the experience more enjoyable.  They both need to read more literature.

2. Recreational companionship

Couples who play together stay together.  She becomes his favorite recreational companion, and he associates her with his most enjoyable moments of relaxation.

Habit: She needs to find activities that they both can enjoy together.  She encourages him to consider other activities they both enjoy.  She also needs to occasionally accompany him to an activity that she doesn’t enjoy.   She helps him establish a group of Godly male friends to enjoy activities on their own.

3. Physical Attractiveness

Men like to be attracted to their wife in private and proud of her in public.  Physical attractiveness ranks very high on a man’s needs list, despite what he may tell you.

Habit: She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise.  She wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that he finds her attractive and tasteful.  She is confident and smiles a lot. She may need to dress better at home.

4. Domestic Support

She creates a home that offers him a refuge from the stresses of life.  She manages the household responsibilities in a way that encourages him to spend time at home enjoying his family.

Habit: She needs to take the major responsibility in terms of domestic care, especially when the husband is the main provider.  She talks to him about his needs in this area.

5. Admiration/Encouragement

She understands and appreciates him more than anyone else.  She reminds him of his value and achievements and helps him maintain self-confidence.  She avoids criticizing him.  Her job is to love him; it is God’s job to make him good.

Habit:  She constantly tells him how proud she is of him.  She constantly encourages him.  She should avoid nagging and criticizing him.  She should never speak badly of him to others.

Whether you marriage is in trouble, or you are still in the honeymoon stage, you can benefit by practicing these 5 habits.  Remember that your marriage is holy and ordained by God.  So treat it with respect and lots and lots of love.

*These ideas are from by “His Needs Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley, Jr.  For more information on how to have a great marriage, and how to affair-proof your marriage, please read the book.


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