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06/18/2011 / Kaitlin Zhang

How to Forgive Others?

There is a thin line between love and hate.  You may find it hardest to forgive those whom you love or loved.  It’s often hard for us to forgive a close friend, a spouse or a parent for hurting us.  If you find forgiveness hard, then you are not alone.  It’s not a one time action.  Forgiveness is a conscious decision we must face everyday.  Read some stories at The Forgiveness Project.

Forgiveness feel like you are vulnerable to other people’s sins against us. But the truth is that you are in control of your destiny if you are forgiving.  You are not letting pass hurts to continue to hurt you today because you are the one who gets hurt the most if you don’t forgive.

Unforgiveness is Gospel Amnesia.  – Joshua Harris

The definition of Christians are people who believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we are forgiven before God.

Forgiveness is about God’s character.

All the wrongs we have done towards our brothers and sisters are ultimate sins against God.  One day, God, the king, will come and settle account with us.

I imagine God showing me a movie of my sinfulness, how my actions affected others.  Some of my sinfulness I am aware of, some I am not.

And then he will click the delete button.


Forgiveness is about seeing the whole picture.

Sometimes, Christians may lose sight of this reality, once we start to become self-righteous.  The truth is that we are unaware of our wrongdoings.  Our wrongdoings is not just what we did, but also what we didn’t do.  And so much of our right actions have the wrong intentions.

Forgiveness is not earned.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. – 1 Peter 2:24

Read 5 Bible stories about forgiveness

Forgiveness is not:
  • Forgetting/Ignoring
  • Denial of the reality of the hurt
  • Finding excuses for the person who hurt you
  • Making yourself morally superior
  • Seeking justice
  • Seeking condemnation or revenage

6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. – 2 Corinthians 2:6-11

Today is Father’s day. I’m reminded of how much our Heavenly Father loves us.  He loved us so much that he let his son die for our sins.  I am also reminded of a lot of pain and hurt my own father has caused me.  I’m not sure if he’s aware of the many ways he’s hurt me, but that doesn’t matter. I have made a decision for forgive him.  And I hope that through my actions, he will begin to understand the love of Christ.  Will you pray for him?



Leave a Comment
  1. Carol Ann Hoel / Jun 18 2011 1:47 pm

    Beautiful post. Blessings to you and your father…

    • K Zhang / Jun 19 2011 10:34 am

      Thank you so much! You are very kind.


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