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11/03/2011 / Kaitlin Zhang

I am the Problem

I am reading a book called “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller.

In the book, Donald references C.S. Lewis:

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.

I never had a selfless thought since I was born.

I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;

I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I see,

I cannnot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;

I talk of love –  a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek –

But, self-imprisonsed, always end where I begin.

I began thinking about the Occupy protest that is currently outside the Vancouver Art Gallery.  I wonder that if blaming and protesting is the solution.  Somehow, deep inside me, I know I am part of the problem.  My own sinful nature is what is wrong with this world.  I wish I could love more, give more, care more.

Only God can help me.  Only God can save me.

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